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Meet Deanna Coyle of Vesta: Redefining Divorce in Natick

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Today we’d like to introduce you to Deanna Coyle.

So, before we jump into specific questions about the business, why don’t you give us some details about you and your story.
I’m a divorced mother of two amazing teenage boys, and have been living in Natick for 14 years. I’m an entrepreneur, Huffington Post contributor, speaker, blogger and former financial services professional who took my own challenging experience of a long financially and emotionally draining divorce and turned it into an opportunity to create a life where I am now living as my best self. After going through my divorce, I founded Vesta: Redefining Divorce, which provides informative and social events and retreats, trusted resources, and a supportive community that enable people to navigate life before, during and after divorce with confidence, dignity and courage.

The turning point in my life was more than 9 years ago in the summer of 2008. I was married and living a seemingly perfect life in a beautiful home and neighborhood, with wonderful friends and two amazing boys, ages 4 and 6. Five years earlier, I had left my career as a securities analyst on Wall Street to be a stay-at-home mom focusing on our kids and our home, while my husband focused on his career.

And then, seemingly suddenly, everything came crashing down in the summer of 2008, when my husband and I separated and decided to divorce. You never think it’s something that’s going to happen to you.

A bit about my background…my parents divorced when I was 5…and both sets of grandparents also had divorced. So here I was getting divorced myself, with no idea of how to get through it or what to do. I was afraid that I would not be able to rebuild my career or even be able to support myself and my children. I was especially concerned about my boys and the impact on them.

My divorce took 3 years and was a financially and emotionally draining experience. I understand firsthand how isolating, frustrating and damaging divorce can be to everyone involved. I have since realized that it does not have to be that way.

That is why, in 2013, I wrote and published an article in Life & Health magazine and created a presentation about navigating the divorce process from a legal, financial, and personal and family perspective. I began hosting informative and social events and workshops. I started 2 meet up groups, including HOPE for Single Parents, which now has close to 1,000 members.

I have built a network of experienced and vetted professionals who share my values and are committed to helping people in a wide variety of areas, including legal, financial, real estate, parenting, coping strategies, career and relationship coaching, fitness, nutrition, self-care, personal styling, confidence building and more.

I’ve worked hard to build a new and better life for myself and my children. The experience of divorce took me from my darkest days to now my happiest. It actually was “hitting rock bottom” that allowed me to recreate myself and my life. I stopped worrying all the time about what people thought of me.

For example, I used to be petrified about speaking in public. Imagine a securities analyst who regularly had to speak in front of groups. I got so nervous, I had to write out what I wanted to say word for word…and the paper would visibly shake in my hands. My voice would tremble and my knees would shake. I was always so embarrassed. I even backed out of an amazing opportunity to speak in front of a large group of investors, because I started getting nervous about it. I always thought “oh the things I would be capable of doing if only I were able to speak confidently in public”. I thought that never would be available to me, and it was “soul crushing” in a way, to feel that I could never live up to my true potential.

That’s why I am so happy now. The process of going through divorce helped me realize I have a strength and confidence that I never knew I had. I finally can be me. Now I seek out every opportunity possible to speak in front of groups. I do that because I know it is not about me and what people think of me. It is about being able to step outside my comfort zone and make a difference to the greatest number of lives possible. Through Toastmasters, Landmark Worldwide, and a lot of practice, I now love public speaking. In the past year, I have been on 3 TV shows, 2 podcasts, and several panel presentations. In November, I spoke at the Natural Living Expo in Marlborough on Turning Life’s Challenges into Opportunities for Personal Growth.

Going through divorce allowed me to access my best self…the person who was deep inside all along. I have never been happier! I focus on being grateful everyday, living fully in the present, and showing true vulnerability to make a difference in the lives of others. It is an honor being able to help others, transform their lives, and really make a difference in the world.

Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
Smooth? I wouldn’t want it to have been smooth… that implies there were no challenges to learn from along the way. I’d say it has been an adventure. Navigating new waters in my career, and parenting as a single parent have had their ups and downs.

There are the inevitable challenges that come with building a start-up business with limited resources. I have been learning many new skills like graphic design, website design, social media, event planning, how to record and edit videos, how to write blogs, and more. It’s definitely been challenging and I work a lot of hours, but I love what I am building! And I meet a lot of wonderful people!

I think the more you are out to accomplish, the more challenges or obstacles you will face. But obstacles are really the opportunities for having breakthroughs in your life.

I have had many breakthroughs! One example is that I now leap out of bed early in the morning, excited to start my day. I used to say to myself that I wasn’t a morning person, and I would hit the snooze button again and again before finally peeling myself out of bed and reluctantly going through my day. I always was so tired. Now, instead of commuting and going into an office every day, I work from home, and am home when my kids leave for school and come home in the afternoon. I am doing work that I love and am good at! What’s better than that?!

Alright – so let’s talk business. Tell us about Vesta: Redefining Divorce – what should we know?
Vesta’s vision is to redefine divorce. Our goal is to help as many people as possible take challenging situations, such as divorce and separation, and turn them into opportunities for growth and change. We provide informative and social events and retreats, trusted resources, and a supportive community to people who are navigating life before, during and after divorce. We educate, connect, and empower people so they can get the information and clarity needed to make informed decisions, and not emotionally-driven decisions.

In addition to gaining information, our event participants are able to meet others who are in the same situation and form new and lasting friendships. Our vision is to educate and inspire people to access their highest potential and create a happy and empowered life for themselves and their families.

What am I most proud of? I am proud of so many things. I am very proud of our Divorce Retreats, Vesta’s pinnacle events. They are a “one stop shop”, where someone can get so many things in just 2 days! They can gain valuable and personalized information in many key areas of divorce, have one on one sessions with trusted professionals, make new connections, eat delicious food, relax, have time to socialize, exercise, and even be pampered a bit with complimentary chair massages and hairstyling. We absolutely love our divorce retreats, and I cannot express how wonderful it is to see the attendees transform during our retreats, as well as afterwards.

I’m also very proud of Vesta’s network of professionals. They are wonderful, kind and smart people who have become good friends of mine. They have been personally vetted and chosen for their expertise, passion for helping people through divorce, and kind and caring natures. They offer complimentary initial consultations to Vesta’s attendees. That is so important, because I know firsthand what it’s like to be concerned about money while also having no idea what to do in the process.

What makes Vesta unique is we provide “All things divorce”. We are building a supportive community, connecting people with trusted resources, and providing both informative and social events and retreats. Also, our events are either free or low cost to attend. For example, we charge just a moderate amount for our divorce retreats to cover the cost of food and accommodations. We are able to do this because the professionals generously donate their time to be at our events and retreats.

What also makes us unique is our events’ warm and welcoming settings. We have people all the time who come to our events, and say they were initially reluctant to come, but are so glad they did. They say our events are totally different from what they expected…they may have been concerned that our events would be salesy, and then they come and realize our events are not salesy at all. They realize that I and the professionals truly are there to help them. Vesta’s network of professionals are very passionate about what they do…most of them have been personally affected by divorce, either from going through divorce themselves, or as a child of divorce. The people who come to our events tell me that they can tell the professionals care…that they can see it in their eyes.

What are your plans for the future? What are you looking forward to or planning for – any big changes?
Our plans are to expand across the country and redefine both the divorce process and what is available to people everywhere. We currently are taking the programs that we have been doing in the greater Boston area for the past 4 years, and expanding into Rhode Island. We are so excited to be replicating our wonderful events and retreats into other areas where more and more people can benefit from them.

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