Today we’d like to introduce you to Stephanie Moniz.
Stephanie, can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.
At the age of 23, after an almost lifelong battle with mental illness due to trauma, I snapped. As a child, I was sexually assaulted, as a juvenile, I came forward with my assault and received backlash which thrust me further into PTSD. In my teenage years, I was trafficked and further assaulted and eventually found myself in an abusive relationship. On the outside, things looked normal. I was always very well-spoken and put together, stoicism had become second nature, but I had a lot of anger festering inside of me. By 19, I was a college drop out and a single mother, moving back home to a less than ideal situation. There was a lot of violence in my life. Not violence in the sense of getting physically beat up every day. Violence in the sense of mistreating myself and allowing others the same privilege.
My charge was first-degree arson to which I plead guilty. I was sentenced to 20 years, 3.5 years to serve, 16.5 years suspended and 16.5 years probation. I was devastated. What would happen to me? Who would protect my son? As a mother, suicide was not an option. I would leave my child in the care of my parents and go serve my time and try to survive.
While incarcerated, I discovered Mindfulness-Based Emotional Intelligence and Non-violent Communication. I read anything I could get my hands on, it was liberating. I discovered self-awareness, accountability, and took my power back. My prison wasn’t the correctional facility where I was serving my sentence. The real prison was my own mind and I was determined to free myself. I rediscovered my passion for creative expression, began journaling, meditating, yoga. Pushed myself to get involved in anything that could repair my psyche. I considered perspectives outside of my own and, in building compassion for myself had gained compassion for the world around me. I felt less alone and I wanted everyone to discover what I had. Especially, my loved ones.
Resiliency is a trait that is innate within all of humankind. As a mother, it was important to let my son know that what we were going through was not the end. He was three years old at the time, so a letter didn’t feel like the most effective way to send the message. I wrote a poem. A little rhyme about a ball who gets pushed down but always bounces back. Thus, Resilient Mr. Ball was born. I had time on my hands and some contraband art supplies and I brought Mr. Ball to life.
Towards the end of my incarceration, I was approached by a young filmmaker who had just graduated from Rhode Island School of Design by the name of Denali Tiller who was working on a film about incarceration through the lens of the children who are dealing with parental incarceration. The film is entitled “Tre Maison Dasan” and will be featured on PBS’ Independent Lens in 2019. I was apprehensive but upon learning more about the project and how it could be helpful, there was no way I couldn’t get involved. I learned so much about the statistics of children affected by the prison system and Denali and I, along with the encouragement of my partner and my son Dasan, decided that we should share Resilient Mr. Ball. I didn’t have any money to pay for publishing so we put our heads and talents together and crowdfunded the publishing through a Kickstarter campaign.
Resilient Mr. Ball is now available on Amazon. I am now volunteering as an Americorps team member full time teaching non-violence in elementary schools in Rhode Island. I have been able to travel with the film across the country and have had the opportunity to participate on panels, Q&A’s, and I even got to talk to young men who were themselves, incarcerated. Less than four years ago, my whole world was in a dark place, and now here I am basking in blessings and just trying to fill the world with light. I had been victimized but the victim wasn’t a name tag I was comfortable wearing forever. I don’t have to and, I just want the rest of the world to know that they don’t have to either.
Has it been a smooth road?
This road has been anything but smooth. One struggle, in particular, is feeling like nobody believes in your cause anymore once you walk away. It can be discouraging when you’re trying to put together a film or publish a book or raise awareness for something that means so much to you and your passion is not equally reciprocated. You have to push through, persist, and women of color especially insist that you be heard. And don’t be afraid to take advice… even if it’s from an unconventional source. Listen to everything and apply what works for you.
Also, putting yourself first doesn’t make you selfish… self-care is essential to the ability to care for another.
Please tell us more about your work, what you are currently focused on and most proud of.
My book is special. Not because I wrote it in prison, but because I consider it a Universal Children’s book. It’s for all of the children of the universe and its message is universal. Everyone at any age, in any demographic faces adversity. Maybe adversity doesn’t look the same for anyone but nonetheless, we all have to bounce back from something.
I’m also proud of my personal transformation. I found an option for navigating the world around me with a level of clarity most don’t get to experience, AND I get to pay it forward and give these tools and coping mechanisms to future generations!
Who have you been inspired by?
In my personal life, Director Denali Tiller and Joyce Dixon-Hasket who were the catalysts for the film. Joyce a.k.a. Mama J as I like to call her is an amazing woman from Michigan who was abused and trafficked. She killed her Abuser and was given a natural life sentence. She served 17 years and in that time, studied and got a degree and got her sentence overturned. She had two children when she went to prison and two adult children when she came home. One of her sons did well and is successful in life and the other son is now serving a life sentence. She has since devoted her life to helping children who are going through what her sons have, and understanding why they are where they are. She is also one of the foremost authorities on human trafficking in Michigan and runs a private psychiatry practice. Denali was so inspired by her story that she has also devoted herself to telling our stories and helping us in our endeavors…
My other inspirations are all of the people who suffer, but use their suffering to bring healing and peace to a violent world.
Pricing:
- Resilent Mr. Ball is 15.00 on Amazon
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1720779317/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_vRAkBbYZZ5TXF
- Email: regalsteph127@gmail.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephindigoddess
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/resilientmr.ball
Image Credit:
@stephindigoddess ig
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