Today we’d like to introduce you to Kristina Nichols.
Kristina, let’s start with your story. We’d love to hear how you got started and how the journey has been so far.
I knew at a young age that I wanted to help people and throughout the years have gained more clarity that this was and is my life purpose.
I remember when I was six years old, I told my family that I was going to attend Harvard University and get a medical degree in neurology. I was fascinated by how our brains and minds worked. When I was in high school, I took an intro to behavioral sciences class and just knew that I was supposed to study psychology. Around the same time, I was introduced to alternative spiritual practices which included many different philosophies outside of the Catholic upbringing I had been accustomed to. I was so intrigued by what I was learning that I was thirsty for more and sought out workshops, retreats, courses, and experiences that quenched this thirst.
When looking into graduate school programs, I attended an information session at Lesley University (which is literally next door to Harvard) and had an intuitive knowing that the Holistic Specialization in Clinical Mental Health Counseling was the program for me. During the last year of that program, I had a strong feeling that I was not supposed to work in the traditional ‘four white walls’ therapy setting. After graduation, I had the opportunity to live abroad in Germany for a year. While there, I met a fellow American who was a business and executive coach. While sharing with each other what we did, I thought ‘yes, coaching was just what I need to be doing’. I thought it would be a great opportunity to use all of the tools I learned as a therapist and it would allow me the freedom to think and work ‘outside of the box’.
After returning from Germany, I had a moment of rational reasoning and felt that there were some necessary steps I needed to take before getting into coaching, the main one being to get my license as a mental health counselor. I have now been licensed for close to 8 years and practicing therapy for over 10 years. Throughout this time I have been in a continuous learning process of professional and personal growth. I have been studying different spiritual practices including Shamanism and Tibetan Buddhism. I have been in a several-year-long group process of depth psychology which includes the study of ancient mystery schools, leadership and coach training, meditation, dream analysis, voice dialogue, active imagination, authentic movement, and soul work, all of which has supported and enhanced my life purpose and my ability to serve my clients.
So, I am here now, with over 40 years of personal experience, 20 years of professional expertise and a deep knowing that my life purpose is to help others along their path of healing and self-empowerment.
Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
It hasn’t always been a smooth road and yet I find that those bumps along the way have strengthened me and my drive to keep going. They have also helped to refine my life purpose. Similar to how a pearl is formed in an oyster, it is with pressure and grit that a beautiful pearl is formed. I believe this is true for each of us and our lives. It is in the struggle where we can find the gold nuggets of wisdom.
I have been most interested in learning about things related to the mind, body, and spirit, however, I felt that I was missing important knowledge and skill in one of these. The area I have had the hardest time with is the body, in particular, MY body. Since the age of 11, and pretty much right as puberty was getting ready to set in, I found myself struggling with loving my body, hell, I struggled to even like it. It was a time when my body was beginning to change and I didn’t fully understand what was happening. And it was around this time, that I began to equate my self-worth with the shape, size, and weight of my body. Anchored in this belief, I held myself back from doing many things that I loved.
I was always an active kid, I loved (and still do love) being outside, riding my bike, climbing on the jungle gym or up a tree, jumping rope, dancing or playing with the neighborhood kids. This all seemed to change overnight when I became conscious of my body and believing that the amount of worth I could attribute to myself was in direct proportion to what my body looked like. The bigger my body, the lower my worth. I have tried every diet out there, signed up for and canceled a gym membership numerous times, counted calories, restricted calories, you name it, I’ve done it. I was in a constant search for answers, looking for anyone or anything who could help ‘fix’ me and my body.
From these challenges, the gold nugget that I have come to understand, learn, embrace and accept is that it was an internal shift that needed to occur. The distorted belief in myself and my worth that was tied to how I looked or what I did or did not do was causing the suffering and unhappiness I was experiencing. I am now at a place of love and acceptance of who I am and what I look like and know that my worth is not tied to either of these two things.
I am by no means perfect in this, as it is my daily practice to check in to see if my internal beliefs are in alignment with my innate worth. I can then adjust when needed. I still have days when I am overly self-critical; I then remind myself that this ebb and flow is natural. I ask myself, what can I do at this moment to love and accept myself.
In a similar vein, self-doubt has proved to be challenging as well. That critical inner voice can be cruel and overbearing at times. I have found that surrounding myself with people who believe in me, who encourage me and who remind me of my purpose has been key in helping me to continue on my journey.
What I would share with those of you who are just starting out is the following:
Three Bits of Wisdom for Women of All Ages:
1. Find a group of supportive and encouraging people who believe in you and your dreams and who will help you rise to your potential and grow into the person you dream of being.
2. Find the courage to take risks! It is in the risks that we get to stretch ourselves and grow into our potential.
3. Do not be afraid to ask for help! Even more important is to learn how to receive it. I have found that the quickest way to burn out and to give up on ourselves is to hold the belief that we must do it all ourselves. This couldn’t be further from the truth. We all need support, we all need guidance and help along the way. We are social beings and community is vitally important. Feeling supported by that community is even more important.
Find your tribe and be a good tribe member. I often remind myself, whenever I am hesitant to ask for help, how good I feel when others ask for my help and I am able to offer my support, guidance or advice. Most people want to help if and when they can.
what should we know about Love, Kristina Marie? What do you guys do best? What sets you apart from the competition?
I consider myself to be a healer, spiritual teacher, coach, and psychotherapist.
My main passion is in the area of teaching and life coaching. I specialize in working with women in their 30’s and 40’s who struggle with body image, disordered eating, and low self-esteem and who are keeping themselves from living fully out of fear. In my coaching practice, I take a Health at Every Size and Body Positive approach when working with women of all shapes and sizes who feel that their physical body is something that needs to be changed or is unacceptable to them. My focus is to empower these women to embrace and own their personal power, to trust their inner wisdom and divine guidance, and to increase their self-confidence and self-esteem so that they can live an aligned, juicy and extraordinary life.
I offer one on one coaching packages, group programs, experiential workshops, and one of a kind healing and transformational retreats.
In my day job, I am the Clinical Team Director for an outpatient clinic just North of Boston. I have always been drawn to leadership roles where I can utilize my skills and strengths to help others. I started out at this clinic as an unlicensed clinician right out of graduate school and have slowly and steadily increased my responsibilities. I now oversee and manage the team leaders and clinicians at all three of the clinic’s locations. I facilitate the clinical meetings at each office, recruit and train new clinicians, conduct utilization reviews of medical records, and create the materials for and lead various training. I also provide individual therapy for adults in the clinic and in my private practice.
I am grateful that I get to live my life purpose while helping people to live their best life. And I am honored to be a part of my clients’ journey of self-love and empowerment.
What do you feel are the biggest barriers today to female leadership, in your industry or generally?
In polling a number of my professional friends, fellow entrepreneurs, and clients, all leaders in their own lives, three things emerge consistently when asked this question.
1. A lack of role models outside of the hearth and home. Although we are seeing more and more strong and powerful females in leadership roles today, this is a very new trend. Men have had role models in leadership positions for thousands of years.
2. Busyness. Women are very busy, focused on getting things done and then getting to the next thing ASAP. The fine art of the pause and cultivating personal and professional networks outside of one’s inner circle and home is still a relatively new art for busy women leaders.
3. Our own limiting beliefs brought on by the pressure to be perfect before offering our gifts or taking action, which includes having what the outside world has decided is a perfect body.
Body image, sensuality, pleasure, and joy are challenging topics in our society. They grace the cover of every lifestyle magazine yet we live in a culture that is more body, sex, and pleasure damning than it is celebrating. How we use, drive and honor our bodies is part of this conversation. I am a temple dancer. Body movement and fluidity bring me great joy. I see how it inducts others back into themselves whether I am doing actual ritual dancing or dancing at the Middlesex nightclub in Cambridge with my friends in tow.
We need to be those roles models, slow down just enough to mindfully connect with ourselves and others, and we need to redefine perfection on our own terms.
What if that is what’s staring back at you in the mirror right now? What might be possible then?
Contact Info:
- Website: www.lovekristinamarie.com
- Email: lovekristinamarie@gmail.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lovekristinamarie/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lovekristinamarie/
- Others: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/kristina-nichols-boston-ma/135186
Image Credit:
DEEPAKBARDHANPHOTO
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