Today we’d like to introduce you to Robert Maloof.
Robert, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
I mean if I’m going to tell my story we have to start from the beginning. At about age six I was just rummaging through my parents attic. You know, the kind that’s just filled with dusty junk that has a weird smell. As I was playing with some of the stuff, I found a chest. When I went to open the chest, I suddenly felt myself falling hundreds of stories down into the floor of my attic, looking up at my own face staring down at me. The face was smiling.
I woke up four weeks later running as fast as I could through what I later learned were the arid tundra’s of Siberia. I was carrying a bow and arrow, both fashioned from pieces of tree and bone, and a wolf was running alongside me. I followed my instinct and was led to a small cave where several other wolves lay about the floor of the cave. This was my home now.
Years later I was able to apply to college through a special pardons program enacted by President Bill Clinton in secret. It allowed me to apply to and enroll in any school of my choice under the stipulation that I carry out any and all special operations I was tasked with. My time in the Siberian tundra’s and the skills I acquired there made me quite the asset for the aggressive and violent government of the 1990s.
While in college I was able to live a normal life. Or so I thought. After my psych class one afternoon, while I was tossing a disc to one of my bros on the quad I was hit with a tranquilizer dart and extracted from the green by helicopter. Everyone at school had their memories wiped the next morning.
When I came to, I was sitting face to face with John F. Kennedy. Yes, that one. He hadn’t aged a lick. Before I had time to question the situation he told me (in his sultry Boston accent) to “shut the hell up and listen”. He was sending me back in time to 1963 to make sure that he got killed that late fall day in Dallas. He wanted me to assassinate the president of the United States. As his henchmen rolled me toward the time traveling device, I tore free of my bonds. I quickly incapacitated the henchmen with the paperclip I had been holding under my tongue for the past several hours. I gave Kennedy one last look and said, “Ask me what I can do for my country, not who I can kill for it, Mr. President,” and jumped out the window.
Following the ordeal with Kennedy I knew my time in black ops was over. I purchased a small professional camera and set up shop making videos in South Boston.
Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
I’ve had to face literally hundreds of thousands of obstacles in my time. I’ve been faced with big walls, small walls, spiky walls, slippery walls, hot walls, cold walls, invisible walls, walls with splinters, two walls next to each other, underground walls, floating walls, walls I have to pay for, walls that pay me, walls that do my grocery shopping but forget like a few things that I really needed, walls that compliment me passive-aggressively, walls that are always playing Rick Astley because they think it’s still funny, walls that have goofy accents, walls that talk too quietly, walls that post too often on Facebook, walls with an unhealthy fascination with Disney, walls that haven’t learned how to dissociate nostalgia and obsession, walls that are always late, walls that are always early, too-cool walls, nerdy walls, jock walls, drama walls, emo walls, skater walls, walls that think they’re better than everyone else, walls that take all the blankets at night, Paul Wall, Pink Floyd’s “The Wall,” the Great Wall of China, walls I can’t reach, walls for dogs and not people, sticky walls, healthy walls, icy walls, regular walls.
Don’t even get me started on all the holes I’ve almost fallen into.
Alright – so let’s talk business. Tell us about Gauntlet Films – what should we know?
Gauntlet Films has been active in the creative business since 2005, producing top shelf content for champion clients. Everyone who wants to be seen needs a visual, and everyone who wants to stand out from the crowd needs to be different. We’re not in the business of simply fitting-in, we’re here to make eyebrow-raising memories. Why go through all of the trouble to tell a story if it isn’t going to be provocative?
Any shoutouts? Who else deserves credit in this story – who has played a meaningful role?
There have been so many people who have helped me get to the place where I am today. Ever since the beginning I’ve had supporters, pushing and prodding me on. And had it not been for the little people, I wouldn’t be the person I am or have the business I run.
So with that, I’d like to start with thanking the littlest people, my own mitochondria. Not only are those guys the powerhouse of the cell, but they are the powerhouse of my soul. They have always given me advice when I needed it, guidance when I was lost, and energy when my cells were conducting their daily activities. My mitochondria have always been here for me, whether I wanted them to or not! Boy, do those guys also know how to freakin’ party. You should see these guys break down key nutritional elements and convert it to energy! They should certainly get a lot of credit. I mean without those little guys, I literally would be dead.
Let’s not forget the various particles of dust that swirl around my neighborhood and cause me intense discomfort in my throat and nose. Those guys are so little. Very little people! But they have kept me extraordinarily humble. They always remind me that no matter how talented I am and how successful I get, they will always be there to knock me down a peg, and make sure I feel as those my every breathing bodily function is being viciously attacked. They show me also, that no matter how little you are, you can always go after the biggest target and the tallest order. Those quirky guys sure have no issue in making me feel awful! Those dust particles are so little, but I am just so thankful for them and they certainly deserve at least some of the credit!
Of course there are other little people I’d like to thank. How could I forgot the Robertson’s next door. The Robertson ant colony has been so sweet and caring to me. Any time I need someone to talk to, one of those ants will find their way right into my home, just to talk to me. They have always lent an ear when I needed it most and a hand when I needed six. The Robertson ants never let me forgot how important the little, tiny people are in this world. They never let me forget their integral role in the greater food chain of the world… those goofballs! Ants are very little people that I just have to thank here.
The next small thing that I would like to thank is my little trash barrel in my room. Not only does it hold my garbage, but it holds my heart. Charlie has never once failed me. Charlie the trash bucket is small, but he sure is mighty. Whether its banana peels, empty bags, or my memories, Charlie never forgets. He’s always there to show me what might have been and what still could be, thanks to our local trash pickup schedule. He’s been there since the beginning and has lifted me to heights that I could never imagine. I remember one time when I really needed to Swiffer the top of my bookshelf, I flipped Charlie right over and he gave me that extra foot and a half that I need to really get all the dust off. I love you Charlie, you very literally little thing.
My dogs are also little. They are good dogs that are little. Thanks, dogs.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.gauntletstudios.com
- Instagram: www.instagram.com/gauntletfilms
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