Today we’d like to introduce you to Ellen Llewellyn.
So, before we jump into specific questions about the business, why don’t you give us some details about you and your story.
When I was five years old I opened a gallery in my parents’ living room. I invited them in to view “the work.” Each drawing was 10 cents. My Mother has always encouraged me to keep working. She’s an amazing artist. She’ll deny it, but it’s true. She wasn’t able to pursue the path that she provided for me. But, any ability that I possess comes directly from my Mother’s sharp artist’s eye and tough critique. My Mom is my toughest critic by far, and she’s extremely honest. One of her classic comments when I show her a new drawing or painting is, “not your best. “ It’s said with love. She says it so often to describe my paintings that it’s become a joke within my siblings. We’ll often say “not you’re best“to anything out in the world that fits the criteria. But, these three words have an immeasurable power over me. They send me right back to work to try again. My mother is where my story began. And her honest critiques keep the story going.
Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
I was coming out of 2015 on a real professional high. My work was being recognized broadly and I was proud of the momentum I was building. But, that year a demon I’ve struggled with since sophomore year in college decided to come roaring back. My schizophrenia and depression settled right on my chest that year. I stopped painting and crawled into a little dark hole and lived there for quite some time. The symptoms became worse, and depression started to take hold. I was in some serious trouble.
That year I had a random bad interaction between two medications. It completely derailed my life. When we discovered that this bad interaction was occurring, I had to go off of one of the medications that I’d been on for years. Then, I was thrown back into trying several medications that could possibly take its place. Nothing was working, and I ended up having to be hospitalized.
While we kept trying to find a new medication, things were sinking lower and lower. I underwent Electro Convulsive Therapy, which is a tidy way of saying shock treatment. It helped. But, oh man, it was terrifying. It’s not that it hurt in anyway, but when you’re in such a dark hole, and the people who love you say, we have to try shock treatment, it really sucks. I was so lucky to have my family surround and support me. I was really lucky to have ECT. And, everyone at the hospital who administer the treatment couldn’t have been kinder to me. If you’re curious, when you show up at the hospital, you’re assigned a nurse that stays with you the entire time. They roll you into a room with five or so doctors and nurses surrounding you. They were all so gentle and understanding of how weird the experience is. Sometimes your nurse will hold your hand as they are putting you under. They’ll reassure you that they’ll be with you the entire time. And, when you wake up in the recovery room your nurse is right there at your side, ready to give you a sip of ginger ale. You have to stay in the recovery room for about three hours. And then it starts all over again a couple days later.
The treatment did help, and during that time my doctor and I found the right medication for me to start. And, although the experience still haunts me to this day, I know I wouldn’t be where I am without every person in my family, every person in my husband’s family, every person in my brother-in-law‘s family, and every friend I hold dear. I’m so crazy lucky. I could also say, I’m still crazy, but lucky.
The Schizophrenia and Depression will always be with me. At least until some major movements for mental illness take place in research facilities. From my experience, I don’t mind having the Schizophrenic visual or auditory hallucinations. Most of the time I can laugh at how bizarre they are. But, what scares the dickens out of me is the depression. Managing depression is like managing internal bleeding with Band-Aids. When you feel like you’ve made progress, the sneaky bastard shows up in other areas. As of now, depression is not a battle that can be won, it’s a constant struggle to prevent the battle from breaking out in the first place.
This latest round of depression would’ve swallowed me whole if it wasn’t for my loved ones who were fighting the battle that I couldn’t, and saved me. It would’ve been so easy for me to just slip away. The people who haven’t been diagnosed, who are on zero medications, struggling through life, struggling through the stigma, some living on the streets, these people are tragically in the majority. I have an army, ready to stand up and fight at any sign of trouble. More people would discover that they, too, have an army willing to fight for them. But, they need a non-judgmental arena where they can finally stop pretending that everything is fine and start talking about all the weird shit that’s happening in their mind. After that happens, the people left standing around the patient, that’s their army. The mental health stigma has to be shut down. People are quietly dying because of the public ridicule and shaming surrounding the mentally ill. As usual, lack of education fuels the fire. And, the more of us who are willing to share our personal stories about struggling with mental illnesses, the faster we can chip away and destigmatize this disease.
Alright – so let’s talk business. Tell us about Ellen Llewellyn Fine Art – what should we know?
The business of being a painter has countless routes. It’s such an open ended career that there is no direct platform to stand on. You can go to the best schools, earn the highest degrees. But, there’s no LSTAT or GRE to prove you’re an accomplished painter and deserve the best shows in the best cities. The route to becoming a painter is a tough one to navigate. But, it’s also pretty cool that you’re judged for your work. It’s so simple, what you produce is what’s relevant. Whether you have an MFA from Yale or have never attended an art class, you’re still on the same path and can compete with each other equally.
My work is in oil. My subject matters have ranged from realist portraits, realist still life, landscapes, seascapes and a bit of impressionism here and there. I wish I could tell you that I don’t need competitions and strangers’ opinions of my work to feel content with my ability. But, it’s validating that all of the styles I’ve covered have been accepted into national juried competitions.
Through national juried competitions I’ve shown in cities including New York, Palo Alto, Austin and Bolder. After showing in these cities I felt confident enough to approach galleries on my own. Since then I’ve shown in galleries on the Lower East Side of Manhattan and Chelsea. I’ve also continued to show locally in Boston, Truro and Provincetown.
A few years ago I was to be nominated for “New England’s Best Fine Artist of The Year” by the Boston Harbor Picayune. And I have been accepted into three consecutive editions of Studio Visit Magazine. Maybe it’s acceptance from these outside sources that have helped me plot and maintain a route in a field that doesn’t provide one.
What quality or characteristic do you feel is most important to your success?
If you’re thinking about a career in Fine Art, know that it requires a delicate balance between hating your work and believing in your work enough to finish it. It’s important to be critical of your work. But, make sure you don’t tip too far and become critical of yourself. I’ve definitely tipped too far into criticism and aimed it at myself instead of at my work. And, instead of using my critical thinking as a tool to improve what I’m painting, I use it to question where I’m going in my career and if I’m getting there fast enough. This kind of thinking usually ends with the question, “why am I even trying to become a painter? I’m so embarrassed, and I need to stop immediately” This is when you know you’ve tipped over too far into criticism. When you start to criticize yourself instead of your work, it becomes the biggest enemy of your success. But, don’t worry too much, everyone I’ve met in the field of art has been where you are more times than they can count. Knowing this has helped me push through and keep working. And, usually when you look back at that work, it’s never as bad as you thought.
What role has luck (good luck or bad luck) played in your life and business?
If luck has played any role in my career, once again have to throw it back to my Mom. Without her unwavering encouragement and unstoppable expectations, I probably wouldn’t have the guts or desire to keep moving forward. And, if you slip into my shoes for a moment during sophomore year in high school, know that you can bring home a D in math class or a C in chemistry without getting in trouble. But, by god, don’t bring home a B in studio art. I did that one semester. My Mom knew it wasn’t because of the work I was doing, it had more to do with the lack of work and concentration. I was fooling around with my friends in class. Her angry reaction surprised me, and clearly stuck with me. But, if you fast forward to my first semester freshman year in college, I was in the midst of taking all the prerequisites before I was allowed to sign up for Painting One. It happened to be that an assignment in my design course called for copying a well-known painting in black and white acrylic. For some reason, all throughout high school we used charcoal and pencil. I’d never used paint before. I was so excited, and I went right to my dorm room to begin working. When I turned in the assignment, the teacher was surprisingly impressed. He ended up showing my work to the painting professor in the department. They both agreed that I could skip Painting One and move right in to Painting Two. I was so thrilled and couldn’t wait to call my Mom. I’m so fortunate that my Mom has kept me on track. She’s my biggest cheerleader.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.ellenllewellyn.com
- Phone: 781 789 1088 (For Texts)
- Email: ellen@ellenllewellyn.com
- Instagram: ellen_the_painter
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